The Happiest Day of my Life
by Pearl730
Summary: Halstead and Lindsay
1. Chapter 1

**March 2016**

Jay was sitting on the couch, his hands shaking as he read the letter one more time. He knew the words weren't going to change the tenth time he read them but still he couldn't allow himself to believe the words he was seeing. This couldn't be happening to him, not now, not ever. He had married Erin only a little over a year ago and things couldn't have been better between them.

Oh God, Erin, Jay thought to himself. How in the world could he tell her this, how could he break the news to her. He knew this would totally crush her. Jay knew that Erin was strong, really strong, maybe even more than he was, but this he knew would even break her. In a way he was glad she wasn't home right now, like this he would be able to work up the courage to talk to her when she got back.

That reminded him, he looked at his watch and saw that he had about thirty minutes until Erin's plane was due to land in O'hare. Jay folded up the letter and put it back in the envelope, he then placed the envelope in the inside pocket of one of his suit jackets knowing that Erin would not find it there. He then went to the bathroom to clean himself up before going to pick up Erin and for the first time he noticed that he was crying.

Jay sat down on the floor and continued crying as he remembered the first time he met Erin. It was a little over 6 years ago yet he remembered it like yesterday. He had just gotten back from tour and he had joined the police force. Antonio Dawson was able to pull some strings landing him the job with the intelligence unit. The first person he had met was Erin and for him it was pretty much love at first sight. Jay liked to believe that the same went for Erin too but she was too stubborn to ever admit such a thing.

After 10 minutes of sitting on the bathroom floor Jay's phone began to ring. Jay looked at the caller ID and his heart did a little flip flop when he saw Erin was calling. She wasn't supposed to land for another 15 minutes. He guessed they had landed early, it wasn't crazy he just wasn't ready to talk to her, but he really missed her. It had been two weeks, two long weeks in which they were apart. Erin had gone to New York to help Sargent Benson with one of her cases. Jay had wanted to go with her, but with Erin gone Voight needed all hands on deck and had not allowed Jay to leave.

As his heart ached to hear her voice Jay picked up the phone even though he had no idea what to tell her. He decided he will try to act as normal as possible.

Jay: Hey baby how are you? How was the flight?

Erin: Don't ask, I feel awful. The flight was really tough the captain didn't turn off the seatbelt sign until we landed in Chicago. There was so much turbulence that I got really nauseas and threw up a whole bunch of times.

Jay: So your glad to be back on the grownd huh?

Erin: You bet I am. When will you be here? I can't wait to see you! I really missed you.

Jay: I missed you to babe. I'm on the way to the airport now. So far the traffic has been pretty slow so it depends on weather or not it wants to start moving but i should be there soon.

Erin: Okay great I have so much too tell you.

Jay: Me too. I made reservations for dinner I really want to take you out if you feel up to it. If not we can get take out and catch up in the house.

Erin: Honey, I would love to go out with you. I'll go get ready in the bathroom so don't worry too much about the trafic.

Jay: Okay. Erin?

Erin: Yeah?

Jay: You know that I love you right?

Erin: Of course I do.

Jay: Great I just wanted you too know that.

Erin: Babe, honey is everything okay?

Jay: Yeah, don't worry about it. I'll see you soon okay

Erin: Okay, if you say so. I really missed you, video calling every night is just not good enough. I don't ever want to go help Olivia alone, the next time she needs me I will convince Voight to let you come with me.

Jay: Uh Erin. I gotta go I'll see you soon.

By this time Jay had left the apartment and was already on the 90. He was only a couple of minutes out but after hearing Erin's last sentence he was devestaed. He pulled over to the side of the freeway contemplating what his next move will be. He had already called the army's office and they told him exactly what he had expected them to say. He knew he had to carefully break the news to Erin he just really didn't want to have to hurt her like this but it didn't seam like he was being given much of a choice.

Jay quickly pulled back into the trafic, and a couple of minutes later he slowly merged onto the 190 following the signs to O'hare international airport. All to soon the freeway ended and he was in the arrivals section of the airport. Jay took a deep breath and then called Erin to let her know he was outside. Erin came and the reunion was extremely emotional. Jay wasn't sure how he pulled it off but he somehow managed to act normal for the next hour and a half, as he drove Erin home from the airport and to the restaurant for a lovely dinner.

Jay had made the reservations the day before as he always did whenever Erin came back from a trip she took alone. This was the longest amount of time they had spent apart from each other since they had gotten married and it was really hard on both of them. After the first week Jay had promised Erin that they would never let another week go by with them being apart and now Jay knew it was time to tell Erin his news breaking the promise he made a little less than a week ago.

They had finished their food and were just enjoying each others company when Erin decided to ask Jay what was up and Jay knew he was stuck and had no choice but to tell Erin the devestating news.

Erin: Baby, you have not been acting yourself all evening, would you like to tell me whats going on?

Jay: I thought I was acting pretty normal.

Erin: Normal for someone else maybe, but you have not been acting like the Jay Halstead I fell in love with. What's on your mind

Jay: Your right there is something that is going on, I just don't know how to tell you. I mean we have been apart for two weeks and I just don't know how to say it. I know its not what you signed up for when you agreed to marry me. My only hope is that no matter what happenes you will still be wife. Erin you are the love of my life and there is no one else in the world that I would want to start a family with and spend the rest of my life together. Erin do you understand that I didn't ask for this nor did I want this to happen.

Erin: YOU CHEATED ON ME? HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?

Jay: Erin, Honey calm down, I never said I cheated on you.

Erin: So you'r saying you did cheat on me

Jay: No that is not what I'm saying.

Erin: So what are you saying.

Jay: I got a letter today, They are drafting me back into the army.

Erin: What? I thought you were done with the army.

Jay: I was but they want me to go back.

Erin: But you told them no right?

Jay: Babe, I tried, but unfortunately it doesn't work that way. If they want you back they can call you back and unless the think you are physically unfit you have no choice but you have to go.

Erin: How long would it be for?

Jay: Between a year and a year and half.

Erin: Jay, this can't be happening. Not now.

Jay: Erin, honey I'm so sorry I promise you I called them I tried to get out of it but they aren't giving me a choice. They need me and I have to go back.

Erin: But a year a half that is way too long, how can we live apart for a year and half.

Jay: I don't know how but we will have to make it work. The time will fly past I promise.

Erin: A year and a half. That I will have to be here alone, in this empty apartment wondering if you will ever get back Jay how could you do this to me?

Jay: Erin, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Look I know this is not what you signed up for when we got married. So although it would kill me, if you want out of this marriage I will totally understand.

Erin: Baby, how could you even think that, of course that's not what I want. What I want is for you to stay here with me, to always know that you will be safe no matter what. But honey the universe has other plans for us. You will go back to the army and I will pray every day for you to come back home safely.

Jay: I was hoping you would say that.

Erin: When do you leave?

Jay: The day after tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

The scene in the airport was teary and emotional. Jay didn't want to let go of Erin, and Erin was savoring the moment as Jay held her in his arms. Jay had requested that none of their unit members show up at the airport as he wanted a proper good bye with his wife. Now though he wished someone else was there, not for him but for Erin. He realized she just needed a shoulder to cry on. It was killing him to see her this upset but they both knew that neither one of them had a say in this situation.

All too soon the time came for Jay to walk to security leaving a devastated Erin behind. As Jay handed the TSA member his ticket and id he was relieved to see that Hank had just walked into the airport the console Erin. Jay wished he was the one comforting her instead of the one making her this upset. Eventually he went through security and on too the gate leaving Erin and everything that was now familiar to him back home in Chicago. Jay did not know if or when he would be coming back. He hoped and prayed with all of his heart to make it back home alive as soon as possible. Not for him but for Erin. Jay knew though that there was a 50 percent chance this was the last time he would see his wife. Jay joined the rest of the men who were going back on tour and walked off into the next chapter of his life.

Erin was glad when Hank came over to her as she stood there sobbing while watching her husband leave her through the gates for what could possibly be forever. Erin was glad that Jay had told his family not to join them in the airport, she couldn't deal with his mother and siblings right now. As much as she wanted to be alone she was happy that Voight was there.

Neither one of them spoke as Hank led her outside the terminal and into his car. The drive home was quiet besides for Lindsay's sobbing. 30 minutes later Voight pulled up in front of Erin's apartment and put the car in park when he was surprised to hear Erin talk.

Erin: I can't

Hank: You can't what?

Erin: I can't go in there

Hank: That's understandable, do you want to stay with me for a little?

Erin: I think so.

Hank: Okay kid whatever you want just let me know. I know this is hard for you but I am here for you and so is the rest of your family. You don't have to go through this alone.

Erin: Thanks Hank. Can I stay by you for a while? I don't think I can walk into the apartment right now without completely breaking.

Hank: Of course, do you want to go inside and grab your stuff.

Erin: No

Hank: Do you want me to get them for you?

Erin: I don't know, I'm afraid everything will remind me of him and the life we once had together.

Hank: Erin, I don't like the way your talking

Erin: Someone here has to be realistic. I mean really what are the chances that he will be coming back home.

Hank: I hear you but can I ask you one question.

Erin: Sure

Hank: If you are so positive you will never see him again, why are you still married to the guy. If i'm not mistaken he did give you the option of divorcing him.

Erin: As much as I know the possibility of seeing him again is slim to none I guess in the back of my mind I still hope he will come back. I still love him.

Hank: I never doubted that for a minute.

Erin: I promised to stick by him for the good times and the bad, this is one of the bad. If it ends how we all hope it will than we luck out and if not I'd rather be widowed than divorced.

Hank: I understand. I really wish there was more I can do for you.

Erin: You are already doing enough.

Hank: Back to your clothes, what do you want to do?

Erin: Did you ever get rid of the boxes in the back of my closet?

Hank: No, why?

Erin: Those boxes have all of my old clothes in there, so I think I will be fine for now until I get up the courage to go pick up my stuff from the apartment.

Hank: How long are you planning on staying with me?

Erin: As long as I need or until you want me gone.

Hank: You are more than invited to stay with me until Halstead gets back. My home is your home, you know that.

Erin: Thanks Dad.

Hank smiled, he knew she only called him Dad when she was really happy, therefore after today's events it was bittersweet when he called him dad. Hank helped Erin get settled back into her old room and he offered her to take the rest of the week off from work. Erin refused his offer as she felt that work was a good distraction from her current situation.

Three months had passed since Jay had gone on tour and Voight was starting to get really worried. Erin was not acting herself at all. She was always tired and subdued and as much as he tried to force her to eat food she refused claiming the smell was making her nauseas. On the random occasion that Erin gave in and ate she ended up throwing most of the food up anyway. Normally Hank would have gone to Jay with his concerns but seeing as Jay was currently out of the picture he had to go directly to Erin herself.

Erin had just come back from a particularly hard bust when Voight called her into his office.

Hank: Lindsay, my office now.

Erin went into the office closed the door behind her and sat down on one of the chairs.

Hank: Erin talk to me please, ever since Jay left you have been shutting everyone out of your life, including me, Will and the rest of Jay's family.

Erin: How do you know that?

Hank: I spoke to your mother in law.

Erin: How could you?

Hank: She is worried about you, we all are.

Erin: I'm fine, there is nothing to be worried about.

Hank: Erin, when is the last time you ate something normal.

Erin: I don't know, nor do I see how this is any of your concern.

Hank: It is my problem when one of my detectives faints dead away in the middle of a bust and then refuses medical attention.

Erin: I wasn't feeling good all morning, I was just a little week and the smell of warehouse didn't help with the nausea.

Hank: I'm sure it didn't.

Erin: What is that supposed to mean.

Hank: It doesn't mean anything. Erin, look I understand that you are currently under a lot of stress right now, but I really think you should see a doctor to make sure it is nothing more than stress.

Erin: A doctor, really? I fainted one time and you want me to see a doctor

Hank: From what your mother in law told me you didn't only faint one time.

Erin: I can't believe she told you that.

Hank: I'm not trying to be difficult here but as your father and your boss I am requiring you to see a doctor if you want to come to work tomorrow. I already called Will and he said that he will be more than glad to see you as soon as you can come into the hospital.

Erin: I can't believe you are really going to make me do this.

Hank: I am only doing this because I am worried about you and Jay is not here to tell me it's okay or too look after you. If you don't want to do it for yourself or me, do it for Jay. It's what he would have wanted you to do.

Erin: Jay is gone

Hank: How do you know that? When was the last time you heard from him?

Erin: 2 and a half weeks ago.

Hank: Did you get a call from the army?

Erin: No

Hank: So as far as you know, Jay is alive and well just very busy now stop trying to change the subject. Go get your stuff and meet me downstairs in five minutes.

Erin: Are you seriously going to take me to the hospital right now?

Hank: Not unless you promise you will go yourself.

Erin: Okay, I'll go.

Hank: Now. Will is waiting for you.

Five minutes later Erin said good bye to Sargent Platt and slowly made her to her car. She was livid and couldn't believe she was actually listening to them by having Will check her out. Erin knew she was fine. Her life was stressful right now, it was nothing more than that, it couldn't be, she couldn't handle anything else on her plate right now. 15 minutes later Erin found herself walking into Will's office. It was a little weird to be getting checked out by her brother in law but they both made do with the situation.

Will: Okay Erin I have your blood samples, and I will send them now to the lab to have a rush job done on them. Hang tight and I will be back shortly with the results.

Five hours later Erin was still sitting on the same hospital table starting to laugh at Will's definition of shortly when Will came into her room.

Erin: I thought you had forgotten all about me.

Will: You are my brother's wife, he would have killed me if he knew I had forgotten about you.

Erin: Anyway, I'm all healthy? I'm free to go right.

Will: Not quite.

Erin: What do you mean by not quite, I'm not all healthy? Or I'm not free to go?

Will: You will be free to go as soon as you speak with doctor regarding your condition.

Erin: What condition?

Will: I thought you just didn't want to tell me yet.

Erin: Tell you what? I'm really confused, am I healthy or not?

Will: You really don't know?

Erin: Know what, Will talk to me? Hows Jay what's going on.

Will: Erin, calm down, Jay is fine I just spoke to him yesterday.

Erin: You spoke to him yesterday? I haven't spoken to him in over two weeks and your telling me you spoke to him yesterday.

Will: Jay called mom for a minute and I was there.

Erin: Why didn't he call me?

Will: Talking to you is really hard on him, I think he just needed some time. But he told me he was planning on calling you today.

Erin: So if Jay is fine, and I am healthy than why do I still need to talk to the doctor?

Will: Because you're pregnant.


	3. Chapter 3

Erin was shocked, she couldn't be hearing correctly. She had never really wanted kids but Jay changed that. She knew that all Jay ever wanted in life was to have a real family, a wife and and a couple of kids. They had spoken about the possibility of starting a family soon but each time Erin wasn't sure she was ready and each conversation ended with Jay telling her he was willing to wait until she was ready but that as soon as she was so was he. Erin stared at her brother in law.

Erin: What do you mean, I'm pregnant?

Will was extremely emotional and tired. This was not how he planned on finding out that his brother was going to be a dad. It was really hard on him especially since Jay wasn't there to calm Erin down. Will knew that Erin was slowly coming around to the idea of starting a family, but this was Jay's dream not hers and now he wasn't even here to experience his dream with her.

Will: What do you think it means Erin? You and Jay are going to have a baby, you will be parents.

Erin: Are you sure? I mean how is this possible, Jay hasn't been home in almost 4 months.

Will: I'm pretty sure it happened after the two of you did you know what.

Erin: Okay, eww I don't need you talking about my romantic life with your brother. I know how babies are created Will, I wasn't born yesterday. But how can it happen if Jay isn't home.

Will was relieved when the OB on call, Dr. Natalie Manning walked into the room.

Natalie: So how is the mother to be feeling today?

Erin: Lousy, but most of all I'm in shock.

Natalie: Why are you shocked.

Will: Nat, she didn't know she was pregnant until a few minutes ago.

Natalie: Oh, I'm so sorry Mrs. ...

Natalie looked at Erin's chart before continuing.

Natalie: Halstead?

Erin: Yeah, Erin Halstead

Natalie turned towards Will

Natalie: I didn't know you were married Will.

Will: Oh I'm not, she is my sister in law. She is married to my brother Jay.

Natalie: The one in the army?

Will: Yeah that one.

Natalie: I'm sorry Erin, I know this must be extremely overwhelming for you especially with your husband over seas but there are a couple of things we need to discuss and then you can be on your way.

Erin: Okay.

Natalie: I'm going to do a quick ultrasound to find out how far along you are okay?

Erin: I can't believe this is happening. Jay would have been over the moon with this news.

Will: Er, I know this is hard for you right now, but you know we are all here for you, for both of you.

Erin: I know, I know. I just wish Jay was here with me.

Will: We all do. Why don't you let Dr. Manning finish the ultrasound, I got off shift an hour ago. So if you want I can take you home and you can call Jay with the good news.

Erin: Oh my god, how can I tell Jay? What will I tell him.

Natalie: Can I continue please.

Will: Of course, I'm sorry.

Natalie positioned Erin on the bed with her feet up in the holders and then Dr. Manning started to do a vaginal ultrasound. As she was trying to do her job Erin started screaming out in pain, and Natalie stopped what she was doing.

Natalie: Are you okay Erin?

Erin: Is it supposed to hurt this bad?

Natalie: I don't think so.

Erin: Is there another way to do the ultrasound?

Natalie: Not if you are within the first couple of weeks, no there isn't

Erin: I guess I will have to suck up the pain than.

Once again Natalie started the process and once again Erin screamed out in agony. This time however Natalie pushed on and eventually the level of pain decreased enough for Erin to relax. After a few minutes the sound of the baby's heartbeat filled the room and Erin was able to see the image of her baby on the screen. Eventually Natalie finished the ultrasound and started talking to Erin and Will.

Natalie: Erin, you are about 16 weeks now.

Erin: Are you trying to tell me that I am 4 months pregnant and I had no idea.

Natalie: Under your current amount of stress it's totally normal to miss something like this.

Erin: How is the baby?

Natalie: The baby's heartbeat is a little weak

Erin: Tell me the truth how bad is it?

Natalie: Right now I am not so concerned however I do want you to take it easy for the next week. I also want you to schedule an appointment for next week so I can keep track of the baby's heart rate.

Erin: So there is something wrong with the baby?

Natalie: Not necessarily. For now there is nothing you need to worry about except taking it easy.

Natalie left the room and Erin turned towards Will.

Erin: Tell me the truth Will what is wrong with the baby?

Will: Erin, I'm not an OB, but Dr. Manning is the best there is, if she said you don't have to worry than there is nothing you should worry about.

Erin: Are you sure?

Will: It's Jay's kid we are talking about here I wouldn't lie to you about this okay,

Erin: You like this Dr. Manning, don't you?

Will: She is an amazing Dr. and a great colleague.

Erin: Will, that is not what i meant and you know that.

Will: I don't know Erin.

Erin: You should ask her out.

Will: I'm scared.

Erin: Since when is Will Halstead scared of anything.

Will: Since my ex-fiance stood me up at the altar.

Erin: Oh I'm so sorry Will, Jay never told me.

Will: It's not something we like to discuss.

Erin: I understand. I still think you should ask her out. I think it will kill you more the not knowing than if it doesn't work out in the end.

Will: I'll think about it.

Erin: Promise.

Will: I promise.

As Erin was getting ready to leave Dr. Charles walked in.

Dr. Charles: Hi, Dr. and Mrs. Halstead I am Dr. Charles, head of psychology. Your Dr., Dr. Manning asked if I could talk to you about a couple of things regarding the baby and the baby's father do you mind if we chat a bit?

Erin: Of course not.

Dr. Charles: If I heard correctly Mrs. Halstead you are a detective with the intelligence unit of CPD

Erin: That is correct.

Dr. Charles: And your husband Mr. Jay Halstead is currently overseas in the army, am I correct?

Erin: Yeah,

Dr. Charles: And this is your husbands second time with the army?

Erin: Ya

Dr. Charles: In between both rounds though he was working under your father's supervision and as your partner in the CPD

Erin: Yes, I don't mean to be rude Dr. but what does this have to do with anything?

Dr. Charles: My experience in this line of work has taught me a number of things, but the most important one is that most people will do anything at all if they think it will benefit those they love.

Erin: Okay, I don't think I follow.

Dr. Charles: Let me ask you this Mrs. Halstead, While working together with your husband has Jay ever done anything stupid jeopardizing his life in order to save your own.

Erin: I don't kn...

Will interrupted her.

Will: Erin, correct me if I'm wrong but there was this one time a couple of months after they got married that my brother ended up in the hospital with a gunshot wound to the chest after jumping in front of a suspect who had a gun held to Erin's stomach.

Dr. Charles: Is that true Erin?

Erin: Yeah, I can't believe it slipped my mind but I remember that day like it was yesterday. I told Jay not to do anything, that i had the situation under control but he didn't listen to me. He ran in front of the gun just as the suspect pulled the trigger. Jay had ended up in the hospital for over a month and we were all really lucky he survived that.

Dr. Charles: Is that the only time it happened?

Erin: It's the only time it landed him in the hospital but the thought of loosing me has caused him to do many stupid things over the years.

Dr. Charles: That's what I thought. Erin, what I am about to suggest might seam cruel and it will be extremely hard to pull off but if you care about your family at all I want you to listen carefully to what I am about to say. You too Dr. Halstead.

Will: We are all ears.

Dr. Charles: Many men who go to the army the first time around have nothing to loose if they don't make it back home alive. However when a man gets drafted into the army, especially one who is married and about to start a family, many of them don't want to be there. They are constantly in fear of what not making it out of there alive will mean not only for them but for the wives and children they had left behind back in the states. As weird as this may sound you are not the first woman to find herself in your current situation. Many women find out they are expecting several months after their husbands left for war.

Erin: What usually ends up happening?

Dr. Charles: What I've seen in the past, is the men who were told that they were fathers to be ended up dying in combat while trying to do something heroic.

Erin: I don't understand.

Dr. Charles: For many men the thought of leaving behind a wife and child is so daunting that they end up being stupid at one point or another, which ends up costing them their lives.

Will: So what do you suggest we do?

Dr. Charles: I think we should take this pregnancy one day at a time and hope Dr. Halstead that your brother makes it home alive.

Will: And what should we tell Jay?

Dr. Charles: It's entirely up to you, what you want to tell him.

Will: But you think we should hide the information from him?

Dr. Charles: Not hide, just don't mention it. Right now the most important thing is for Jay to come back home to both of you in one piece. From what you told me, it sounds like it is really hard for him to be away from you Erin. Knowing that you are expecting will only make it that much more difficult for him. In the past he has already done stupid things trying to save you, imagine what he would do if he knew you were expecting.

Erin: So I shouldn't tell him?

Dr. Charles: In my professional opinion no, If however you decide to go ahead and tell him let me know and I will help you prep for how to break the news to him okay.

Will: Thank you Dr. Charles, we really appreciate your help. We will be in touch.

Dr. Charles left the room and Erin and Will followed after him quietly. They each remained in their own thoughts as they walked to their cars. Erin got to her car and opened the door. She was about to sit down when will blurted out.

Will: Don't tell him.


	4. Chapter 4

Erin had been locked in her room for over two weeks now. She had turned her phone off not wanting to talk to anyone. Voight had tried to get every single person he knew who was close to Erin to try and get her to talk, but nothing was working. So once again, Voight decided to do the thing he promised himself he would never do again, call Will.

Will: Dr. Halstead speaking.

Hank: Will, it's Sargent Voight, Erin Lindsay's father.

Will: Of course Sargent, how is Erin doing? How is she feeling?

Hank: I don't know Will. What happened when she came to see you?

Will: She didn't tell you?

Hank: Nope, she walked straight into her room and hasn't come out since. She has only opened up her door long enough to take in the food I leave on the floor, but nothing more.

Will: I need to make a quick call and then I will call you right back okay.

Hank: Sure.

Will hung up with Hank and quickly called Natalie.

Will: Natalie, its Will Halstead, Erin's brother in law.

Natalie: Oh thank you for calling, I was just about to try calling you. Erin missed her appointment last week and hasn't called to reschedule. Considering how we left it last time I am really concerned.

Will: Oh god, this is really bad. I will try to bring her in as soon as possible.

Natalie: Thank you.

Will hung up and called Voight back.

Will: Hank Erin's situation just went from bad to worse, I really need to talk to her do you mind if I come over?

Hank: Of course come on over, but Will tell me what happened when she came to see you.

Will: Sargent, it's not my place to say but I will be right there. Let me try talking to her okay.

5 minutes later Will pulled up in front of Voight's house and took the steps two at a time. Hank opened the door before Will even had a chance to knock.

Hank: Upstairs, second door on your right.

Will ran to Erin's room. He tried the handle but as he suspected the door was locked. So he tried knocking.

Erin: Go Away.

Will: Erin, it's Will. Open up its about Jay.

10 seconds later the door was open and Erin showed Will where to sit.

Erin: What's going on? What happened to Jay?

Will: Jay is fine, he is really worried about you. We all are. I spoke to him yesterday, he is starting to really panic because every time he tried calling you, your phone went straight to voicemail.

Erin: I opened the door because you said this was about Jay.

Will: It is, Jay is worried about you. So am I.

It was then that Erin noticed Hank in the doorway.

Erin: I can't believe you called him.

Hank: You left me with no choice.

Erin: I am fine, you can all leave me alone now.

Will: Erin, you are not fine, you are far from it. I just got off the phone with Dr. Manning and she said you never showed up to your follow up appointment last week. I am not leaving here until you get up, get out of bed and put on some clothes and then I will take you to Dr. Manning myself.

Erin: Come on Will is this really necessary? You heard her yourself, she said there is nothing to worry about.

Will looked at Hank and then back at Erin.

Erin: I didn't tell him.

Will: Do you plan on it, or should I, but he is finding out right now, from you or from me you pick.

Erin: If you so desperately want him to know then tell him yourself.

Hank: Can someone please explain what the hell is going on here?

Will: Sargent Voight.

Hank: Please call me Hank we are practically family now aren't we?

Will: Of course, Hank. Two weeks ago when you asked for my help because you thought something wasn't right with Erin, well your suspicions were correct.

Hank: Just spit it out Will what's wrong. I will do whatever she needs to help her get better but I can't help if I dont know what is wrong.

Will: Hank, nothing is wrong. Erin is pregnant.

Hank: Congratulations kid. That is great news. So why are you so down?

Erin: Because the doctor said something is wrong with the baby.

Will: No she said the heart beat was low but it could very well be nothing, that's why she wanted to see you again last week and that is why we are going now. Just to make sure that everything is okay.

Hank: Erin, get your stuff, I'm coming with.

Erin: I'm not a baby, you both don't need to come. I am perfectly capable of going myself.

Hank: First of all most husbands go with their wives to these kinds of appointments. Seeing as yours is not here since I am your father I will be joining you to each appointment instead of Jay until he comes back and then he can go with you himself.

Erin: Are you giving me a choice here?

Hank: Nope. Oh kid you just made me so happy! I can't believe I am going to be a grandfather! What does Halstead think about all this? I know this is all he ever dreamed about. The two of you and your kids.

Will: Hank, that is the other thing, Dr. Charles...

Hank: The psychologist in Med?

Will: Yeah, him, he said that it would be in Jay's best interest if he doesn't find out about the baby just yet.

Hank: What does that mean? When does he think we should tell him?

Will: When Jay gets home.

Hank: He thinks if we tell Jay while he's over seas he will never make it back home to us alive?

Will: Something like that.

Hank: I'm sorry Erin. I know this is difficult for you but we are all here for you okay. Now get your stuff and lets go see that little kid of yours.

An hour later Hank opened the door to Dr. Manning's office and Will and Erin walked in with Hank following behind them. Will went over to the reception desk and spoke with the receptionist.

Will: Hi, I'm Dr. Halstead I'm here with Erin Halstead...

Before he was able to continue the nurse buzzed them through the doors.

Lucy: Mrs. Halstead if you can please take this cup into the bathroom and than place it in Dr. Manning's box on the shelf. When you are done you can meet us in corner room on the right.

Erin: I don't have an appointment.

Lucy: Dr. Manning said that as soon as you come into the office she will see, so once you give us that sample we will get started okay.

Erin: Do I have a choice?

Hank: I'm afraid not kid.

10 minutes later Erin left the bathroom put the sample in the correct box and joined the others in the examination room.

Erin: That was so gross.

Lucy: Well get used to it, you will have to do it in the beginning of every appointment until the baby comes.

Erin: Yay, this is just keeps getting better and better.

Hank: Erin.

Erin: Sorry.

Lucy: Not a problem, most women find it a little nasty but you will get used to it. Anyhow lets check your vitals and then Dr. Manning will come in to check the heartbeat.

20 minutes later Natalie entered the room.

Natalie: I am so sorry to keep you guys waiting, I was called in for an emergency delivery.

Will: It's okay, we understand.

Natalie: Okay, now lets check out this baby of your's Erin. Erin, this gel might be a drop warm okay.

Erin: Okay.

Natalie: Okay your baby seems to be doing much better now. The heart beat is perfect, everything is looking just the way it should. The baby is perfectly healthy.

Erin: Are you sure? I mean last time you said the heartbeat was low.

Natalie: Sometimes in the beginning it takes time for the heartbeat to regulate but the baby is perfectly fine.

Will: I told you not worry Erin. You are in the best hands.

Hank: Do we get to see the baby or are you only checking the heartbeat today?

Natalie: As you are already 18 weeks pregnant today we are only checking the heartbeat. In two weeks I want you to go for your 20 week ultrasound. I will send you to the best Dr. they have on staff okay.

Erin: Okay.

Natalie: Her name is Dr. Canavan and she is one of the best. Now I will prescribe you with prenatal vitamins that I want you to take but other than that you are free to go and I will see you again in 4 weeks.

Erin: Thank you Dr. Manning.

Natalie: My pleasure.

Hank: I have one question Dr. Manning if you don't mind.

Natalie: Of course not, what can I do for you Sargent Voight?

Hank:Erin works with me in my unit in the intelligence department, what do you suggest we do about her work? Can she still work in the field and if yeah when do you suggest we take her out of the field?

Natalie: Normally I tell cops that if they feel fine and everything is going smoothly with the pregnancy that they can work in the field until they are 8 months pregnant. However cops with husbands in the army I tell them to only work desk jobs during their pregnancy. It will be hard enough for their child if something were to go wrong and they would never see their husbands again, so how can they work in a field knowing that not only would they be putting them and their child's lives at risk but they risk the potential of orphaning their child of both parents in the case of an accident. So to answer your question Sargent, I suggest that Mrs. Halstead here, do nothing more than light desk duty until her husband gets back.

Erin: So your telling me that if my husband was here safe and sound you would let me work until I was 8 weeks pregnant?

Natalie: That is correct.

Erin: Than that settles it then, I will be working through my seventh month.


	5. Chapter 5

Five months had passed. They were hard both physically and emotionally. As much as she was extremely great full to Will and Hank for joining her at every appointment, she was still disappointed that Jay was not there to go through all of this with her.

Eventually Erin had given in and for the better part of her pregnancy she kept to nothing more that a little bit of light desk duty. She had even gotten into the routine of calling Jay once a week, she had done a really great job of hiding her secret from him although she did almost slip of many times. She knew that he suspected something was up even though she tried calming him down telling him that everything was fine, but Jay knew her better than to believe her although he did drop it with Erin he tried to get it out of Will who threatened Jay the next time he asked either one of that question they wouldn't talk to him until he got back home and Jay gave up.

Erin was sitting on her bed feeling sorry for herself as she looked at the calendar one more time. One more week until Christmas which meant one more week until her due date. She lied on her back wishing for the millionth time that Jay would walk through the door or that this baby would come already. She was going out of her mind. The last three months of her pregnancy were nothing but torture, she couldn't breathe and she could hardly walk. Dr. Manning told her it was all in her head as she was carrying pretty small but Erin knew it wasn't in her head. All the nurses in Dr. Manning's office knew Erin as the woman who couldn't wait until the baby came and they made sure to make fun of her about it.

Christmas came and went and still no baby. Erin, Hank and Will celebrated the holiday together each one praying silently for Jay's safe return. Four days later Will and Hank accompanied Erin to her check up. Dr. Manning did a stress test and an ultrasound before coming into speak with them.

Natalie: Erin, there is good news and kind of bad news. The good news is your baby is doing great, the bad news is you are still not dilated and you are not having any contractions.

Erin: This can't be happening. Look I have been miserable for three months now and you don't seam to care. My husband is not here to help me and I just can't do this anymore. I need this baby out like three weeks ago.

Hank: Erin, I think you are over reacting here a little bit. The baby is fine, you are fine there is nothing more to do than wait a little.

Natalie: Sargent Voight is correct, it is just a waiting game now Erin, I'm sorry.

Erin: Look none of you are me, none of you have any idea what I am going through right now but I am not leaving this office until I have this baby.

Will: Erin, don't you think you are being a little ridiculous here?

Erin: Ridiculous? Are you kidding. My feet, well they are my feet I knew they would be like this, I knew my breathing would be a little compromised but this, this isn't normal I haven't breathed in months I don't even remember what it is like to smell anymore none of this is normal for pregnant women and I have let all of you get away with it until now, but now I am done.

Hank: Dr. Manning I do agree with you on waiting but seeing as Erin here is so miserable is there maybe some way we could compromise?

Dr. Manning: Go to the hospital and I'll see what I can do for you.

The went to the hospital and Erin was admitted right away. A really sweet nurse named Adam helped them settle in. Eventually with much persuasion, as it was Thursday, Adam was able to convince Erin to go home and enjoy the weekend at home and if the baby still hadn't come by Sunday to come back and get induced. Erin was just about ready to go home, Will had even ordered a pie of pizza when Dr. Canavan walked in the room.

Allison: Erin hey, how are we holding up?

Hank: Not so great, Erin here has just agreed to go home and come back on Sunday.

Allison: I'm glad you agreed Erin but it will not be necessary, I took a closer look at the pictures from today and it looks like you are carrying a lot of fluid around the baby. We want to induce you now if that's okay.

Erin: That is way more than okay.

Hank: What would happen if we waited a little bit?

Allison: Well the situation right now can be fatal for the baby.

Hank: Than lets do whatever it takes to save the baby.

They started the induction on Thursday night. By Friday morning Erin was dilated four centimeters and Dr. Manning was extremely happy with her progress and was positive that Erin would get to meet her baby before the end of the night. The next morning however Erin was still pregnant and still only four centimeters dilated. As much as she hated the thought, she knew she was headed into surgery. They first took Erin off the petocin for a little bit and everyone was extremely surprised when Erin's water broke by itself at 5 pm. Dr. Manning came into her room and told her that by 5 pm Sunday the baby would be here as they give 24 hours after your water breaks and Erin was thrilled.

At 11:58 the baby's hear rate dropped drastically and every single nurse on the floor came into Erin's room. finally the baby was doing great again and Erin was able to breathe a sigh of relief. Erin was happy to count down to New Years with all the nurses in her room and she prayed for a healthy baby and to hopefully see her husband sometime soon.

At 9 am Erin woke up freezing cold. One of the nurses took her temperature and was shocked to read 102.7 they quickly prepped Erin for surgery and at 10:58 am Erin gave birth to a little baby girl. Unfortunately due to Erin's fever the baby was born with a fever as well and was quickly rushed into the nicu. Erin had fallen asleep during surgery and at 2 o'clock woke up still in the or. She looked around and started talking to the nurse.

Erin: When can I take a shower?

Anne: Not for a couple of days hon.

Erin: Did my dad see the baby? I know he was headed to New York today to help SVU out with a case.

Anne: Besides for your husband no one has seen the baby yet.

Erin: Jay was here?

Anne: Whose Jay?

Erin: My husband

Anne: No, Dr. Halstead was in here, i thought since your last name...

Erin: Dr. Halstead is my brother in law, my husbands brother.

Anne: Oh

Erin: Btw what did i have, a boy or a girl?

Anne: You had a little baby girl.

Erin was than wheeled to a waiting area until her fever went down. As soon as it was back to normal she was brought into her room. When Hank finally handed her, her phone she saw she had many text messages from all of her friends and 21 and 51. Apparently Will had announced the birth of her baby girl to the world before she ever knew if it was a girl or a boy. 3 hours later Erin finally got to meet her daughter and she had never felt so happy.

4 months passed and Erin was finally getting back into routine when she saw Jay was calling her so she picked up.

Erin: Hey babe how are you?

Jay: I'm doing great, I have great news Erin, I'm in the airport, I'm coming home tomorrow.


End file.
